Exact number of days after being hit by the bus (aka lifting the stupid weights) before the pain left my arms: 5
Total number of days I spent whining about the pain in my arms: 5
List of things that are difficult, painful, annoying, or impossible to accomplish without the use of afore mentioned arms:
1. EVERYTHING!!!
Happily, blissfully, FINALLY, fully recovered- I of course began thinking of all the amazing pain free things I could do with my arms. It was a wonderful, sky is the limit type list. You know things like: Challenge the kids to a game of charades, take an interpretative dance class, pick up a side gig as a mime, learn to juggle... Why is it that it takes getting over a cold for me to appreciate the miracle of breathing? I have to contract a stomach virus to remember how cool it is to eat and digest. And why did it take five days of "ouch" to appreciate that I had arms.... One week into this weight lifting adventure and first life lesson learned. I am grateful for a healthy body and even more determined to take care of it. I want to do interpretive dance well into my eighties...
In retrospect, I think that I probably experienced so much pain after the first day in the weight room partly due to the fact that I was rushing, and didn't warm up or stretch out after. I know, rookie mistake. I should know better. The good thing is that this realization gave me a little hope that it would not be as bad the second time around. Because honestly- the. very. last. thing. I wanted to do with my arms was to take them back into the weight room.
Luckily since I work at the gym, I have to go there anyway. So like it or not, I really had no excuse. Dumbbell torture part two was emanate.
So here is the thing about doughnuts. I pretty much love them. I blame my childhood, sorry Mom-but you know it's true. I'm not sure if I mentioned before, but the Captain America plan that I have concocted for myself includes "clean" eating. Because apparently it is difficult to see beautiful sculpted muscles if they are buried under cookies and doughnuts (sigh). Lucky for me I don't have a multi-million dollar movie role that I have to get in shape for. Pretty much it's my own vanity, and new found determination to be an eighty-year old juggling, interpretive dancing mime that is propelling me. So my version of "clean" eating is perhaps a little more flexible then what Chris Evans had to endure. Sorry, Captain.
My plan is to eat as "clean" as possible. Severely limiting, rather than completely removing said cookies and doughnuts. I guess this is a good idea anyway since apparently refined sugar is poison. (sigh again). They really shouldn't make poison taste so good.
This is how I know the universe hates me.
As I said, morning five. I am pain free, scheduled to teach, and therefore going to do the weights after I finish. But first, I have to be Mom. (Pretty sure Captain America didn't have Mommy duties before his workout, so ha! take that, one point for the wimpy girl).
The problem: Mom duties include doughnuts. Josh has scout day camp which I had been told would be serving doughnuts to the boys. My boy would need to bring his own gluten, dairy soy free doughnuts or be left out. First Mom duty: Get special doughnut for the boy. OF COURSE, after buying doughnuts for Josh, Kloe needs them, because- "It's not fair that Josh gets doughnuts and I don't." So second Mom duty: Regular doughnuts for the girl. Morning five. Both kids happily eating doughnuts. I resist. I am strong. I am proud. I am awesome.
I drop Josh off at day camp. They are not kidding they are serving doughnuts. LOTS of doughnuts. The entire room smells of their yeasty, chocolaty goodness. My mouth waters, my stomach growls. I resist. I go home. I eat oatmeal with berries because that's what Captain America did. I think I love him just a little bit less.
I make it to the gym, teach spinning, teach the nutrition class. Today's topic: Healthy snacking and how to resist temptations. I am not kidding. I didn't pick the topic. The universe is mocking me. But it's all good because I resisted my temptation, TWICE this morning. Finally, into the weight room I go. Yep. Just as miserable as the first day. Only this time I have the voice of my cursing muscles in my head saying "noooo, not again!" I play it smart, warm up, take it slow, rest between sets, stretch out after, and survive. I am pretty much amazing.
I get Kloe from her class, and all we have to do is walk out of the gym. Easy right? Nope. Because as I mentioned, the universe hates me. As we pass the welcome desk, the attendant stops us. "Hey guys, it's doughnut day. Go ahead and take a doughnut with you."
ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!! I seriously look around for hidden cameras, certain that I must be being punked or something. Kloe is jumping up and down picking the one with pink frosting and sprinkles. How much willpower is one wimpy woman supposed to possess? A thought begins to form... Maybe the universe doesn't hate me after all? Maybe the universe is sending me a message that life is too short to live without doughnuts. One doughnut for Kloe... and one for ME! Yep. Sadly, not as awesome as I had been telling myself all morning. Unexpected life lesson number two: Don't get cocky or the universe will sabotage your willpower with doughnuts until you break!!!
I ate the doughnut in the van while driving home, skipped the protein shake because they are both chocolate, so pretty much the same thing right?
Good news. Pain this time was MUCH better. It could have been the stretching, but I am thinking it was probably the doughnut!!
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